okay think about this for a second: Hetalia Shrek AU
Donkey - France
Shrek - Russia
Fiona - America
Dragon - England
Arthur is the dragon because he’s all like “I’m gonna burn and kill all of you” then Donkey comes and he’s all *blushy blushy* France is Donkey cause he follows Shrek around for protection even though Shrek thinks he’s super annoying. Shrek is Ivan. That doesn’t even need to be explained. Alfred is Fiona because she doesn’t like Shrek at first and she kicks ass.
my granddad just called me to tell me how big his cauliflowers are growing and it was so cute theyre “TWICE as big as the ones you get in the shop”
i told my granddad this post has 3,500 notes and he said ‘who are they? do i know them?’ he wanted me to list everyone and see if he knew anyone
On my first day working at Disney World I went into the bathroom and accidentally smacked right into Snow White, and she went “Oh fuck!” and almost dropped her Red Bull and that was the beginning of the best job I’ve ever had.
On my first day I was walking and ran into Ariel drinking Starbucks and she said “What’s up bitches”
I want to work at Disney
i don’t understand why people don’t instantly respond to “what would your dream superpower be” with the ability to manipulate probability.
think about it. what’s the chance someone will drop 1mil in front of me? 0%? let’s make that 100%. what’s the probability i’ll wake up tomorrow and be X gender? 100%. what’s the probability my bathtub is filled with mac and cheese? 100%.
as a casino employee I can confirm this would be terrifying as fuck
so apparently people talk to their pets in baby voices, but when i see my cat i’m just like ‘hey brad’ and he’s like ‘meow’ and the conversation is over.
I don’t know why but for some reason the fact that your cat’s name is brad is hilarious to me
Oh my GOD
My grandma bought my grandpa new pants and my mom asked him how they felt and he goes “like a cheaply made castle” and we were like what and he goes “no ballroom”
i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again
YOU DO NOT NEED TO BRING YOUR GUN TO THE GROCERY STORE
how does america even function like it sounds like a video game or something. grand theft freedom.